Well, not exactly my neighbor’s e-reader, because I don’t actually know anyone that’s got one. But after hearing Dave extol the virtues of the Kindle all summer, I’ve now convinced myself that I need one. Because it’s cheaper than buying a bookshelf, right? I’ve already got books stashed in drawers, in boxes in the basement, towers of tomes on my nightstand, lining the window seats in the bedrooms; I don’t have room for any more. Of course this ceases to be a problem if one uses the library but I owe them $1.50 late fee and I’m embarrassed to go back.
In all seriousness, I can’t come up with any reasons why I legitimately need a Kindle. Maybe because the covers have a little clip-on light that would allow me to read in bed after Dave goes to sleep. It’s almost impossible to do now because I cannot find a decent book light. Currently I’m using a $2 LCD flashlight/stick thing from the Family Dollar. It works, but it’s a pain to hold up in front of the text, sort of like trying to illuminate a book by the light of a miniature light saber. Also, Henry’s constantly trying to snatch it because it looks so much like a light saber. So between normal use and his fantasy Star Wars play, the batteries are going dead and I think it’s one of those devices that are cheaper to replace than refill with new batteries.
Yet this is still not reason enough to get a Kindle. I could buy roughly 52 book lights for the same price as a Kindle. Henry would be in heaven – 52 faux light sabers all stashed in my nightstand, just itching to be brought out for a battle with an unsuspecting Rhys.
If I traveled – ever – I could justify the purchase.
If we were independently wealthy, and able to buy neat little gadgets just because we wanted them – I could justify the purchase. Actually, I wouldn’t even have to justify it, I’d just buy it and throw my head back and laugh and then readjust my mink stole.
If Dave ran over my
foot arm with the car, I could justify the need for one. I wouldn’t be able to lift a book and balance it with one hand. According to the model on Amazon’s site, the Kindle is perfect for folks who can only read with one hand.
If Dave ran over my foot with the car and broke it severely, he might feel sufficiently guilty enough to get me one out of pity.
If Dave ran over my entire body with the car, I don’t think I’d need a Kindle.
So basically, I only need a Kindle if I ever get a job that travels, I lose an arm or find out I’m actually a Hearst.
Dave, if you’re reading this, I still sort of want a Kindle for Christmas.