I think the storm has passed.  I can’t be sure, but I feel more like myself today than I have all week.  Or was it two weeks?  I think it’s been two weeks that I have been crazier than a cat with scotch tape on it’s feet.  Strange as it sounds, that is an apt analogy of akathisia.  You know how the cat violently shakes it’s paw to try and get rid of the tape?  Yeah, that would be me, flapping my hands trying to shake off the akathisia.

The first thing my doctor tried was giving me a cure-all for the akathisia, so I could continue to take Abilify (the instigator of the akathisia).  Well, to say that went up in flames like the Hindenburg is yet another apt analogy.  I went completely INSANE.  The name of this drug is Benztropine, also known as Cogentin.  If you are ever prescribed this nightmare of a pharmaceutical, make sure you’ve got someone staying home with you until you’re sure painting won’t start talking to you.  I saw things that weren’t there, I heard things that weren’t making noise, I was in some alternate universe for several day until we realized this was not just some extra crazy added to the usual bunch, but a direct result of the Cogentin.

Unfortunately, it takes about 20 days for Abilify to leave your system.  I am going to drink tons of water, do my juicing and I’m considering something like Goldenseal to try and flush this mess out.  Right now I’m relegated to taking at least one benadryl every four hours to keep the akathisia at bay.  Yesterday it took a lot more than that and I was doped up on 1.5 mg of klonopin and had to take 2 doses over benadryl (50 mg) over the course of the day.  By 8:00 pm I was beyond miserable, even so heavily sedated, so I decided to take Seroquel and knock myself out so I didn’t have to endure another hour of flapping my hands and writhing in bed.  It worked, and I slept all night until I heard Sarah cry at 5 am.  I tried to get out of bed – HA HA HA HA – and as my foot hit the ground, my body lurched forward like “Oh no, I don’t think so.”  I grabbed onto the footboard of the bed and turned myself around and collapsed back into bed.  My legs were jelly and going nowhere.  I poked Dave, told him I physically couldn’t get up (that stuff is strong, really, really strong) and he took care of her or maybe his mom did, I am not sure.  I just know I was laying in a heap in the bed like a jellyfish.

I’ve also emailed my doctor twice and called once and gotten no response whatsoever.  I’m slightly worried something is wrong with him and he’s incapable of communication and I’m also perturbed that if this is the case, there’s not one single back-up person on call to cover his patients, nor anyone to call/send an email to let me know it’s indisposed.  I have winged the crazy alone.  I think I should get an honorary degree for this.

Cross-posted at life without peanut butter.