Monthly Archives: June 2012

Lingering

Posted by Donna in a little bananas

I’ve been so lazy, or I guess depressed, I have not written in weeks.

My pdoc switched me from Zoloft to Effexor about a week ago.  I think I feel a slight improvement (I’m out of bed, hey!) but I’d asked to be switched back to lorazepam for anxiety.  BIG MISTAKE.  It just does not work as well as klonopin for my anxiety.  So I’ve been pushing the limit of how much lorazepam I can take and drinking kombucha to take the edge off (believe it or not, it works).  At night I’ve been taking 25 mg of seroquel which is basically nothing, but it helps curb the morning anxiety somewhat.

I’ve been having nightmares the past week.  I guess they’re nightmares, I feel like I’m still awake the entire time and watching them from afar.  But I’m probably asleep.

Mostly I’ve just wanted to hide in bed and read.  Talking on the phone, or in person, looking at the internet…I just can’t do it.  It’s like my mouth just doesn’t want to open to talk, it’s a strange sensation, not wanting to talk.

Writing is kind of like that too.  I think I’ve said it all now.

Hibernation

Posted by Donna in a little bananas and tagged with , ,

That’s basically what I’ve been doing, now that I think about it.  It started off with being tired:  going to bed at 8 pm.  Then 7:30 pm.  Then 7 pm.  I’d sleep all night, at least until Sarah got up at 4:30 for a feeding.  I was still happy and peppy, excited about planning next year’s homeschool curriculum, and thinking of things for us to do this summer.

Then I started needing naps during the middle of the day.  I’d nap whenever I could – which meant when Sarah napped, whose naps are not as long or frequent as I’d like.  My goal became 7 pm – bedtime.  That’s all I could think about, getting to bed.

In the meantime I lost interest in things I normally like:  talking to friends, hanging out with friends, talking- period, writing, even perusing Facebook, reading the news.  None of them did it for me.  I felt too tired to attempt any of it; I just wanted to sit quietly.  I was able to read books, but I never got more than a few pages at night before conking out cold.

And so it goes.  I don’t really feel any differently today, other than finally getting up the energy to document it.