I’ve been so lazy, or I guess depressed, I have not written in weeks.

My pdoc switched me from Zoloft to Effexor about a week ago.  I think I feel a slight improvement (I’m out of bed, hey!) but I’d asked to be switched back to lorazepam for anxiety.  BIG MISTAKE.  It just does not work as well as klonopin for my anxiety.  So I’ve been pushing the limit of how much lorazepam I can take and drinking kombucha to take the edge off (believe it or not, it works).  At night I’ve been taking 25 mg of seroquel which is basically nothing, but it helps curb the morning anxiety somewhat.

I’ve been having nightmares the past week.  I guess they’re nightmares, I feel like I’m still awake the entire time and watching them from afar.  But I’m probably asleep.

Mostly I’ve just wanted to hide in bed and read.  Talking on the phone, or in person, looking at the internet…I just can’t do it.  It’s like my mouth just doesn’t want to open to talk, it’s a strange sensation, not wanting to talk.

Writing is kind of like that too.  I think I’ve said it all now.