I am writing a funny (I guess, it’s supposed to be funny) entry on the other blog but in reality, I am falling apart.
I am collapsing under the daily grind. I have not had time to recover. I have not had privacy to grieve. I have not had time to catch my breath. I think I got about five hours alone since I got home.
All day I serve and I do not hear a thank you. My children are so, so, so trying lately. Sarah is into everything. Henry has a smart mouth. Rhys pitches hellacious fits. MY BRAIN HURTS FROM THIS. MY HEART HURTS FROM THIS.
We couldn’t even get through phonics today. We couldn’t get to math the other day. Henry can’t handle the work load, he piddles, he’s so easily distracted, it drives me crazy. There’s nothing I can do about this short of schooling him once everyone is in bed and that’s impossible. I’m going to start Rhys on phonics next week – he is ready, but how can I make time for him when Henry wastes time so?
Rhys got through CC in 15 minutes today. Henry never got to it because he never even got his core subjects done.
I am DONE with the Wii, the DS and the computer. I have been buying them books according to the reading guide I bought but DS and Wii games and video games keep showing up at our house. I hate this! I want them to READ, not watch tv or play video games like zombies! I’ve been trying so hard to make them appreciate reading and cultivate a love of reading but this garbage is invading their brains and ripping up all the roots that have taken hold. Sick of it. Technology is a boon and a curse. I’m packing up the Wii and their DSs tonight and putting them away. They are gone. Whether they go up on ebay is going to be up to Dave, but the boys won’t be playing them (and whining and fighting) again any time soon.
I am about to explode. My chest hurts. My jaw hurts from being clenched nonstop. I feel so alone. I pray and cry myself to sleep many, many nights. What else can I do? I am off to read some Psalms and calm down and lower my blood pressure.
Donna, My heart aches for you. Homeschool is hard. It’s a balancing act. BUT it is so worth it. We don’t do electronics during the week at all. And very minimal some weekends. I hate how it changes them. If you want to get some adult time out, call me. I would love to get together and just hang, even if it is only for an hour.
It is so hard! But yeah, I would not have it any other way. I love it, but sometimes it is so trying. I just have to be quiet, remember that I am 35 and not 6 and that things that seem obvious to me are not obvious to him and it’s my job to make them obvious to him through education. LOL – no pressure there.
Today was so much better – we got everything done without any major hiccups. Listening was better, concentration was better, everything was better overall. We’d done two weeks of school (we started…oh I don’t remember now, the week after July 4th? No that can’t be right – I don’t remember) and then we missed two weeks because of numerous trips to my parents house for the surgery and then the funeral the next week. He’s trying to get back into the routine, I guess. I am, but it’s easier for me. I *NEED* the routine, he’s much more laid back.
I go to bed at 8 pm so the idea of an adult night is foreign to me HAHA! You’re welcome to come hop under the covers and chat, though
The latest I’ve stayed out in the last year or two was a CC meeting a few weeks ago when I got home at 9 – I felt like a wild woman. And I have forgotten how to drive at night! THAT is alarming.