I’ve been on Zoloft and Abilify for about a month now and I was feeling okay until Sarah’s night waking and my sleep deprivation happened, and the dreaded akathesia started.

If you aren’t familiar with it (really, who would be?) akathestia is a side-effect of many antipsychotic drugs.  I was just lucky enough to get it.  It is such an unsettled feeling, it’s weird and bizarre and the world doesn’t seem like the world anymore.  I felt like I was constantly on the verge of a panic attack and almost ran out of church last Sunday.  I visited my doctor yesterday and he prescribed Benztropine Meyslate and while it does get rid of the horrid akathesia, it’s got some interesting side-effects:

• Dry as a desert mouth and lips.
• I am very hoarse.  I think this has to do with the bullet point above.
• I CAN’T SEE.  Even with my contacts in, everything is blurry and I’ve had to increase the font size on my computer to like 150X normal in order to make out the words.
• Slurred speech – this one kind of alarms me because it’s not listed as a potential side-effect.  I called Henry’s name this morning and it came out as “Hen-dree.”
• There absolutely no way I can take this and drive.  I guess I can take benadryl instead on Monday so I can take the kids to CC.  I’ll be drowsy, but not blind as a bat, slurring my speech.
• I think it’s not only making my vision incredibly blurry, but because I can’t see clearly, I’ve mistaken jackets and other objects for people and was scared out of my wits for a split second.  Please note, this is not a hallucination, this is I CAN’T SEE! and these things are all blurry and misleading.
• It feels like I am taking very shallow breaths.  I’ve had this happen with other drugs so I think it may be par for the course.

All these side-effects considered, I still feel 100 times better after a couple of good night’s sleep.  And it kills the akathesia, so I’ll take being partially blind over writhing in agony and pacing the floors.